Stuck Is a Symptom of Unmade Decisions (and How to Fix It)
I know a lot of healthcare workers, both not just as clients, but also clients and friends. And one thing that I see just so frequently is that many of them feel like they're moving through life, but not really moving forward with a sense of progress and momentum. And if you're someone who also has a sense that something needs to change, but you don't know what you don't, and you're not quite sure how to make it happen, then I think this video is going be for you and really be helpful for you. Because I'm going to walk you through a tool that I use that will help make 2026 a different year for you than previous years. And I'm going to walk through why you might feel stuck, how to get unstuck, and how to make sure that you never, and I think, you know, if you apply this tool, you'll never get stuck again in quite the same way.
Bereket Kelile:And this will not just apply to also to your financial plan, but also to other aspects of your life. So let's dive into it. So before I dive into it, if we haven't met, my name is Bereket Kelile. I'm a financial advisor here in the Sacramento area. And I specialize in working with healthcare workers, especially folks who work at Kaiser Permanente, I have a lot of clients, family and friends that work there, but also at places like Dignity Health or in Sutter.
Bereket Kelile:And what I do is I help them with understanding their retirement benefits and planning for retirement when they get to that stage where they're ready to put in that ninety day notice. So the real problem here, a lot of times people think that they're stuck because they're lazy or they're unmotivated or they just don't have the right strategy. And so basically they're just kind of dumping on themselves, getting very negative and judgmental. But that isn't it. That's not the problem.
Bereket Kelile:The problem is that when being stuck is a symptom of unmade decisions and those unmade decisions are these open loops that are taking up a lot of mental bandwidth. So if you think about it, there are different areas of your life where you have to make decisions and there are unmade decisions being that that you haven't made yet that you're probably thinking about, like, for example, your career trajectory or frustrations with that, your financial situation and what you think it should be or what you would like it to be, relationships and people who deserve more of your time or maybe you're taking too much of your time, your health and habits that you need to change, personal growth or the lack thereof, and where you actually want to live and how you want to live, your lifestyle. Now these aren't just random thoughts. These are decisions that you're facing that if you haven't made them yet, it's like, you know, if you look at my Chrome browser, you got so many tabs open that if it wasn't for the logos, you wouldn't even know what is behind there. And it just sucks up memory.
Bereket Kelile:It slows down your computer. In the same way, an undecision, an unmade decision over here might be draining energy and making it difficult to make a decision over here. And and so it just kind of bleeds over and it just sucks your energy and it just slows you down and grinds you to a halt. You'll feel distracted. You won't feel present.
Bereket Kelile:You won't feel focused. So again, it's not something wrong with you. It's these are unmade decisions and they are draining your mental bandwidth. Now let's talk about some of the root causes behind being stuck. And the let me lay out five potential reasons.
Bereket Kelile:One is a fear of failure. Another one is too many inputs. The peanut gallery is just providing all these opinions that you're not looking for. Ignoring the decision as a way to kind of cope. That's my usually my favorite strategy whenever I'm facing a big challenge, or at least it's my go to, my first one to use.
Bereket Kelile:Assuming the worst case scenario, which obviously helps to ignore, you know, the decision. And then lastly, too many open loops. And here it's really about inertia. When you just keep avoiding decisions, they pile up and it feels like you have this mountain of unmade decisions that you're facing and you can't even tackle one. And so just, again, just that inertia works against you and keeps you from moving forward.
Bereket Kelile:Now, here's what happens when you finally decide and you actually start to make, you know, some, you know, a decision and start to close some of these loops. What happens is even if the decision isn't perfect, you'll start to feel forward momentum again. And hopefully, course, know, you want to make some quick wins because that will help to start to build momentum and feel like, hey, you know, I can actually do this. I can actually overcome this. So it's not because and again, you're not going to feel the forward momentum because you made the right decision, the perfect decision, but you just cleared that open loop, kind of like you closed out a few tabs that you weren't using.
Bereket Kelile:And so now you're not draining that focus energy and taking up that bandwidth. You're able to refocus, become present again, and you're starting to take back control of your life and feeling like you're back in control, which then helps you just kind of propel you forward in terms of taking responsibility and focusing more on what you can control, which just, again, it's just a feedback loop that just feeds on itself. Now, an important point to keep in mind is that most decisions aren't the bridge burning situation that you might think that they are. 99% of the decisions that you're that are keeping you stuck are actually easily reversible. And this actually reminds me of a conversation I had earlier this week, just the other day, where I was talking with a coach and he was talking about feeling stuck too.
Bereket Kelile:There were so many different directions that he wanted to go in when it came to his business and who to work with and what to work on next and, you know, where to go with it. And the analysis just paralyzed him and he couldn't move forward. And through that conversation, that was something that came up where we talked about how, you know, you're not having to make this huge life changing decision that you can't go back on. What if we just took one step? What if this is really just about tiny experiments that we can take?
Bereket Kelile:And then we don't have to feel like that pressure of a high stakes decision, you know, on our shoulders. So you might feel like some of these decisions are bridge burning. They're permanent. They're irreversible one way doors that could potentially lead to disaster. But most life really isn't like that.
Bereket Kelile:You know, things like quitting your job, you know, you can get another one or even return to your old employer. Moving cities. If it doesn't work out, you can always move back. Starting a business, you can always shut it down and return the way you were doing before. Ending a relationship or, you know, you can reconnect with people in the future.
Bereket Kelile:Spending money on something, you know, you can always make more money later. Right? Is the decision you're facing really burning a bridge? Probably not. And what would be just kind of a smaller version of making that decision?
Bereket Kelile:Taking that next step. So let's wrap up by talking about what this planner does. What you'll see is that the there's a set of questions here that are broken down by past, present, and future. And this is going to be a process that takes a few hours, but it's not your typical goal setting template. What this really is about is going through and really reflecting on your experience.
Bereket Kelile:And the reason why that's important is because experience alone isn't going to create change. It's experience plus your reflection on that experience that's going to create the transformation that you're looking for. And so this isn't about just productivity hacks or time management or setting goals that you don't know if you're gonna, you know, achieve or not. It's about really a making it's a decision making instrument that is going to help you get clear on what matters, what is a priority for you, and then aligning your time, your capital, your resources, your skills, everything with that priority so that you are focused on the right thing and that's what's going to get you moving forward. For me, I started doing this in 2021.
Bereket Kelile:Started going through this annual review. I've been doing it every year since. And what it's helped me do is big picture, allowed me to change careers and doing work that I love. And as I'm growing a family, align that work schedule and along with the family responsibilities that I have so that they kind of work together in harmony. And so if you're a parent who has small kids or ever had small kids, you understand the kind of the challenges of juggling those different responsibilities.
Bereket Kelile:And so being able to navigate that and do it with a sense of growth and making progress through those challenges, that's been something that this journaling process has helped me to do. It's also helped us to, as a family, focus on things that, you know, that create memories that we're going to look back on and enjoy and create, you know, that bond in it, especially when it comes to traveling and doing things together as a family. It's going to help you with your relationships, with your career. It's gonna help you with your finances. It's going to help you create habits and stick with it.
Bereket Kelile:It's gonna help you again, like I said earlier, once you get clear on what those priorities are, I know for me, it's especially in my work, it's helped me stay focused on the right things and catch the distractions sooner and solve it quicker. And then stay focused and sustain that momentum, that progress over multiple years. So I think by the end of this process, it's you're gonna come up with some really high quality goals that are relevant to you for 2026. And then it's gonna give you kind of a rubric and a plan and a direction to start to apply those insights that you're learning. So if you head over to the the channel page or actually just go to the description below, you'll see a link there where you can download the PDF.
Bereket Kelile:And one thing that I'm doing this different this year is setting up a Zoom call every week on Tuesday for the first quarter where we'll go through and work through this journal together in a small group and continue to work on our progress and on those goals that we've identified for the year to share our insights on what we're learning and what challenges we're facing. So looking forward to seeing you there. And if you're a healthcare worker, especially a Kaiser employee, go ahead and check out this video that will pop up on the screen where you can take a look at the five step checklist that I've created for those of you who are getting that point where you're ready to put in that ninety day notice, but you don't know what to do next. So thanks for listening. Rehobo Financial Planning Incorporated is a registered investment adviser.
Bereket Kelile:Information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and unless stated otherwise are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial advisor and or tech professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.
